Nothing says "gosh, you're a great asset to our community, we love your family and your constant drive to be self sufficient - your doing an a-okay job by us and we love living close to you" more than a visit (by request from someone in your neighborhood) from the freakin' Health Department!
Oh yes people... I am THAT "loved" here in my community. *applause* *whistle* *thank you, thank you... takes a deep bow*
Now that I've gained my composure about this little incident yesterday, I'd like to talk about it. Since it's over on THIS blog, you might want to take note that nothing is going to be "sugar coated". Sugar coated goodness can be found a plenty over at the other place. Not here, baby!
For those of you that live IN my neighborhood, I would ask that you don't take offense to everything I might say here. Because I'm TICKED. And I need an outlet to get it out. And Brian's tired of hearing about it. Enough disclaimer? Good. Here we go.
My day started out about the same as any other day. You know, a box of peaches, a box of apples, a bag of mint all waiting to be canned. A cute little boy to babysit in the AM, a way fun member of our Ward coming over to learn how to make bread.
As bread making commences, a neighbor comes over to purchase eggs. Ah, it's a beautiful day! Busy, yes... but BEAUTIFUL!
Things are normal and crazy around here for a good part of the morning. Things pick up a bit as my way fun neighbor and I are getting ready to put lovely bread dough into their pans. This is when the doorbell rings.
Hands covered in bread dough and a baby in just a diaper, I joke that my life is crazy busy and head over to open the door.
To be greeted by a member of the Health Department.
Nice Health Department Lady: "Do you have chickens and did you know you can't have chickens here?"
Me, still shocked and taken back at the Health Department at my door: "Umm... yes, I have chickens and no, after all of our research, we found that we COULD have chickens... if we can't, some other friends in the neighborhood are going to be just about as upset as me because we're not the only ones."
Super Nice Health Department Lady: "Really??? Wow... I was told you couldn't have them... but that's not the reason I'm here. We had a complaint about the chickens just smelling awful. Do you clean out their cage?"
Me, trying to not still looked so shocked and on the spot: "Of course we clean out the chicken cage! WE don't want to live with stinky chickens!"
Way Nice, totally friendly Health Department Lady: "Well, I have to admit, I was here a few days ago because of the call we received. Nobody was at home, so I just went around to the backyard. I didn't see or hear the chickens, but I couldn't smell anything. Can I see the chickens now though?"
Me, trying hard not to shake or puke or do something totally embarrassing: "Oh yes! Come and see my chickens!"
Glorious, best Health Department Lady if you ever have to be visited by the freakin' health department: "Hmmm... I'm walking all around back here and I don't smell anything. Do you feed them chicken feed? What kind of chicken is that? What color eggs do they lay? *sniff sniff sniff of the air* Gosh, I just don't smell ANYTHING!"
Me, almost in tears: "Because I clean out our coop and *I* don't want to live with stinky chickens!
Health Department Lady whom I should have offered some eggs to at this point: Well, I'm going to have to do more research to see if you CAN actually have chickens in this neighborhood, but as it stands right now, I'm not sure what the neighbor complaint was about." *sniff sniff the air... NOTHING*
She leaves.
At this point, I need to go back in the house to finish making bread with my neighbor. And explain to her why the HEALTH DEPARTMENT just came to my door. And again, hope she remains my friend...
I've never been so embarrassed.
I've never been so mad... (okay not true... I was pretty ticked when another neighbors "landscaper" told me that letting my irrigation water run down the gutter while watering my sloped lawn was illegal and that all my neighbors hated me because I was causing all the weeds and mosquito's in the neighborhood... yeah... pretty ticked off about that one too.)
You know what I would like? I would like people to oh... maybe MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS???
I love our chickens. I love that I can feed my family in this nasty time of economic trials with the eggs my lovely chickens produce.
I love that my son sells our extra eggs to put money into his missionary fund.
I love the feeling of self-sufficiency -
I HATE the feeling of having a target on my back.
I HATE that some people like to label me as "crazy" for wanting chickens, canning my own food, looking into rights to use canal water to water our lawn, and basically wanting to survive a different way than them. I'm not that mainstream people... I think there's a different way to do things than the "norm".
I HATE all the rules and regulations that we're put under. I still may loose my chickens if my neighbors decide they don't like them. And I want to say so badly: FIND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE! Go to a PUD where you KNOW a chicken won't live next to you, where you can only have your door painted a certain color... where your lawn has to be perfect!
I'm just trying to survive - to do what I think is best for MY family.
And for real. If one day my chickens poo happens to stink more than usual and the scent happens to be wafting into your living space? Have the decency to CALL ME. Don't hide behind the "Health Inspector".
Chicken Poo smells FAR better than DOG CRAP, and I have *plenty* of that left on my front lawn.
To my sweetheart husband: I'm sorry you're reading this because I know you'll FREAK that it's posted. I've decided however that I'm not afraid. I'm not worried about a confrontation because I know that we haven't done anything wrong.
To everyone else: If you want to be kind to members of your neighborhood, here are some suggestions:
send flowers
take over chocolate
or a loaf of bread
ask them out for lunch
give them a gift card
take over more chocolate, because some neighbors might really need it about now...
but please... PLEASE... don't say "I love you" by calling the Health Department.
10 comments:
I'm so sorry that happened! Maybe if some of these "loving" neighbors that called the Health Department would take a walk in YOUR shoes for once, they'd come to realize that you are one of the AWESOMEST people around, and that being able to walk out your backdoor and gather eggs to feed your family, that taste TEN times better, is better than any store bought product out there!!!
Just remember, I think you are FANTASTIC, and how you raise your family is fantastic as well!
Ah... the neighbors!! Don't we love the neighbors! We have some too! If it were legal, I would have a cow in my backyard and I would bring it over to poo in your backyard so that the smell would really be inviting!! Not because I want to have Bessie poo in your backyard, but because I would want her to lay a log and then we would provide a high voltage fan to blow in the direction of the poo-heads! (whichever direction that may be... North, South, West... but I am sure it's not to the East...those neighbors rock!!)
Oh my gosh! You were far nicer than I would have been. My rant would have included way more curse words, too.
I called the Health Department.
I can smell your chickens all the way to Eagle Mountain.
Sheesh...the nerve of some people trying to be self sufficient. It just ticks me off and I had to do SOMETHING to send a message to you and your family on how much I can't stand your non-conformity.
Get with the socialist program and paint your door green.....while you are at it, paint your lawn too, so it call all look pretty and nice.
Wow, that just sucks! What's wrong with people?
Keep on keepin' on, you are doing just fine!
I promis I was not THAT neighbor. I am so sorry!
First of all- I LOVE your free attitude! LOOOOVE IT!! Keep on bloggin' those true feelings, sistah!
Second- man, that bites. People who 'hide' behind things like that- what cowards. I myself can't WAIT until we move and can have chickens! We have talked about having other animals as well, and can't wait for that day. I LOVE that you don't conform. Good for you!!! Way to go!! :)
I am so sorry this happened! I totally second what kellie anne said, I just love you! I think you are fabulous, your family is fabulous. I seriously am so jelous of you skills- they pay the bills! So on that note, can i come bake bread with you some time??!!
Oooooooo..... that makes me so mad, and I don't have chickens! IT reminds me of when my son escaped the house when about 3 and the neighbor said she was calling Family Services on me because I was a bad mother. (luckily, she never did.) She still won't let her 7 year old play with my 7 year old!
I would bake loaves of bread, take them to all my neighbors with a note saying, "This loaf of bread was baked especially for you, with eggs from my very own chickens... sorry about the poo!"
ok, maybe not!
I feel your pain! Only our problem is the neighbor's dogs that climb in and out of her fence and kill the neighbors chickens or chase unsuspecting people or bark loud enough while holding somebody at bay that the coyotes are howling but the owner sleeps through and then fights the ticket calls everyone that is forced to testify a liar but since she has already succesfully sued the school district and the sheriff department nobody is going to mess with her so she goes through life making everyone as miserable as she is... but it's all good... love thy neighbor and all of that!!! Or is it pray for them that despitefully use you.... or forgive 70X7... or well... we are still working on all of the above as she goes from door to door smearing anyone that happens to be in her self destructive path. It's oh so fun to have neighbors like that!!! Sorry you got to deal with it all!!!
Post a Comment